We love Arrested Development, and I can’t think of A New Start without thinking of anustart. I know it’s tasteless, but low brow seems to be my best line of defense these days. You see, we are about to embark on our next year of adventures — without Parker — and I’m anxious and excited all at the same time.
We are overdue for anustart, Mr. Funke.
The process of getting Parker and our family to this point is finally over. The renter moved out and we furnished the house. Parker graduated high school, and now possess a bus pass, a Texas ID, and a job coach (that moves at a sloth’s pace). He knows how to do laundry, grocery shop, cook, get the mail, mow the lawn, and walk the dogs. Each step has taken planning and effort to ensure he is ready.
When we set out in our rig this time it will be with four people and one dog. That’s a big difference from a year ago when we had six people and three dogs.
Also, when we hit the road in July 2021 we had no idea how long we would be traveling. Not knowing our future we ended up packing our whole life into the rig. This time we’ll only pack what we need.
Because a gigantic man-child is renting our home (for zero dollars per month at the moment), we will have a crash pad if we need a break from the highway. Our bedrooms at home will remain furnished with our favorite, unnecessary things. We don’t need to pack everything we love because it will be split between two places. Maximizing our space in the motorhome will be easier.
When we returned to San Antonio in January 2023, we gutted the rig of everything. All the pots and pans, all the bedding, all the “things” that live underneath the rig that we don’t ever use. Everything came out so we could re-assess the way we utilized our space.
1. Don’t have glass dishes. We had a cute set of ceramic bowls that said things like “Joy” and “Gratitude” on them. “Happy” was the first to break. I think the others were, “Relax”, “Sexy”, and “Sanity”. Along with them went every drinking glass from a Costco set. So, I bought the prettiest melamine dishes I could find. They look like blue china, and remind me of the dishes from A Bargian for Francis.
2. End of the world food storage can stay home. Except for what Ryan stashes out of sight because he’s an unstoppable doomsday prepper. Always be prepared… for anustart.
3. I don’t need EVERY sentimental thing. I will take my journal and some photographs, but the baby books will stay home. The shoe boxes of love letters from the past 18 years will stay home as well. Maybe Parker will get lonely and start snooping. Then he’ll know just how gross his parents are.
4. The Picnic Canopy takes up valuable space. We love the idea of a portable shade at the campsite or at the beach, but we haven’t used it once. So, it will live in our garage. Maybe Parker wants to start a booth at the farmer’s market? Who knows what he’ll sell. Do people buy South Park quotes? What about Arrested Development quotes?
5. The dog crate and dog fence will go. Since we will only have one dog with us — Frank, the good one — I think we can leave these things behind. Most campgrounds have a fenced in dog run, and Frank prefers to make friends anyway. The dog posse needed to end in the worst way.
1. Each kid needs a desk. Our move from roadschooling back to online public schooling means each kid needs a dedicated area to have their laptop. The hubs measured the space that we can dedicate to dual desks, and we found a sturdy, metal storage rack that will make the perfect desk.
2. Pick my kitchen tools well. Everything needs a space, and it can’t be too big of a space because not many of those exist. Our Ninja Foodi is worth the space it occupies. I let my Cuisinart go during our first assignment and I’ve regretted it ever since. So I’ll purchase another and make space for it. Ryan loves it when I donate something to rebuy it later. He calls it anustart.
3. Personalize the Outdoor Space. Our outdoor space is really important to expand the limited space we have in the rig. It’s amazing what a colorful rug and rocking chairs can do to make the outdoor space inviting. Next step, solar lights and decorations. We’re going full Florida trailer for anustart.
4. Buy corn hole. It is most definitely worth the space because it provides hours of entertainment. I’m really, really bad at cornhole. The hubs will have me beat, but then he will say “Next point wins”. I win a lot that way. I love that he is as shocked and delighted by my lucky shot as I am. He’s a good sport. He says we should change the name “cornhole” to “anustart”. Kinda redundant, I think.
5. Fix the couch. The couch is super peely. Every “leather” thing we have owned has gotten to the peel stage. We’ve painted over it, bought patches, stretched blankets over it, etc. There’s nothing to be done at this point except cover it up. So, I bought a slip cover to give the couch anustart.
I’m hopeful that putting all these things into practice will make this our best assignment yet. The right stuff needs to usurp the wrong stuff, and the wrong stuff has got to go.
I want lazy nights of card games with my babies. I want campfire smores amidst windchimes and garden gnomes. It might be too much to ask, but I want to be relaxed.
The past 18 months were amazing, but they wore me out. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect and re-cooperate, I’m ready to get back out on the road. I’m ready to be smarter about how I use my time. I’m ready to enjoy this opportunity to the fullest.
What I’m trying to say is… I’m ready for anus tart. Sweatpants and cowboy boots, here I come.
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Thank you for stopping by our website! We are the Hoffmann family, a full-time RV family that has split residence in Seattle, Washington and San Antonio, Texas. We have special needs children that we homeschool, and work travel assignments for the Veteran Affairs Hospital. If you would like to learn more about us, check out our Start Here and Biography pages. In the meantime, God bless and travel happy!
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